How to Win Friends and Influence People

 Author: Dale Carnegie

Originally published: October 1936

Self note

Practical – Every day

1. Become genuinely interested in other people
2. Smile
3. Remember people names - made them feel important
4. Give honest and sincere appreciation
5. Be a good listener, encourage others to talk about themselves
6. Make the other people feel important, do it sincerely. ‘Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.’

Negotiation

1. Begin in friendly way, avoid argument. Don't condemn, criticize, complain
2. Talk in terms of the other person's interests  stop talking about what you want, but try to see other people's viewpoint, how can I make this person want to do it?
3. Get the other person saying ‘yes, yes’ immediately
4. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
5. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers
6. When you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. Say respect to other people's opinion, never say you are wrong, Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires
7. Appeal to the nobler motives, dramatise your ideas, throw down a challenge

Leadership

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation
2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
5. Let the other person save face
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be ‘hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.’
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

From Book

Part 1. Fundamental techniques in handling people

1. Don't condemn, criticize, complain

2. Give honest and sincere appreciation

3. Arouse in other people an eager want (stop talking about what you want, but try to see other people's viewpoint, how can I make this person want to do it?)

Part 2. Six ways to make people like you

1. Become genuinely interested in other people

2. Smile

3. Remember people names - made them feel important

4. Be a good listener, encourage others to talk about themselves

5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests

6. Make the other people feel important, do it sincerely

Part 3. How to win people to your way of thinking

1. Avoid arguments

2. Say respect to other people's opinion, never say you are wrong

3. When you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically

4. Begin in a friendly way

5. Get the other person saying ‘yes, yes’ immediately

6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking

7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers

8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view

9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires

10. Appeal to the nobler motives

11. Dramatise your ideas

12. Throw down a challenge

Part 4. BE A LEADER

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation

2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly

3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person

4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders

5. Let the other person save face

6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be ‘hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.’

7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.

9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.